Monday, September 06, 2010

H’aitches, H’ays and Red Herrings

The Five Red Herrings by Dorothy Sayers is my least favorite of her Peter Wimsey detective stories. The story turns on detailed train schedules which, to my mind, get a little tedious. Since it is set in Scotland there is a fair amount of Scottish dialect to wade through.

But I found this passage which relates the Scottish police Inspector Macpherson's interview of the English butler of one of the six suspects in the murder of an artist to be hilarious. It was worth reading the book for this one exchange. The butler's name is Alcock:

The Inspector opened his notebook.

"Your name is Halcock, is't no?" he began.

The butler corrected him

"H'alcock," he said, reprovingly.

"H, a, double-l?" suggested the Inspector.

"There is no h'aitch in the name, young man. H'ay is the first letter, and there is h'only one h'ell."

"I beg your pardon," said the Inspector.

"Granted," said Mr. Alcock.

"Weel, noo, Mr. Alcock, juist a pure formality, ye understand, whit time did Mr. Gowan leave Kirkcudbright on Monday nicht?"

"It would be shortly after h'eight."

"Whae drove him?"

"Hammond, the chauffeur."

"Ammond?" said the Inspector.

"Hammond," said the butler, with dignity. "H'albert Hammond is his name – with a h'aitch."

"I beg your pardon," said the Inspector.