Toxic Gym, Part One

I feel like we’ve been exposed to the “dark side” of the sport of gymnastics. We’re done with the far-away gym with the ever-present pressure. I recently read The Devil Wears Prada. (Can’t wait for the movie to come out.) The sad thing is that as I was reading I found myself relating to the pressure the main character lived under, but it wasn’t due to the “boss from heck”, but to the “gym from heck”. I related to the way that she couldn’t really explain why this job was consuming her life.

I’m going to attempt to put some perspective on this experience of the last five months by setting down some of my thoughts and feelings. I chalk the whole thing up to experience and I’m thankful that my daughter is very resilient and that she still loves gymnastics and still wants to pursue her dream. I’m thankful that Chuck and I are still willing to help her pursue her dream. I’m thankful that over the last five months she’s become stronger and more physically fit.

The best words I’ve heard recently were on Monday night after her six hour workout. We were still in the gym and Aimee was reaching in her locker to pull out her shorts and shoes for the ride home. She said, “I want to move gyms right now.” “I don’t want to go to Vegas and I don’t ever want to come back here.” My heart leaped because those were my feelings exactly but I wanted it to come from her.

I’m going to start out by relating a conversation I had with a Mom last summer when Aimee went to gymnastics camp at UCLA. We were both watching our daughters from a look-out window above the gym where the girls were working out. I asked her about her daughter and how long she’d been doing gymnastics. She told me that her daughter started rather late in the sport because she had done everything she could to keep her out of it and tried every other sport to try to get her hooked on something else, anything but gymnastics. When I asked her why, she told me a little bit about herself and her past life in gymnastics. In the eighties she had been a world class gymnast and an Olympic alternate.

I can’t remember exactly her age when she was sent away to a training facility in
Washington state? ( I think it was eleven or twelve). Anyway the girls who were selected for the training lived away from their families and only saw their parents occasionally. The coaching was done by intimidation. Their diets were strictly monitored, After every practice they were weighed. If anyone put on a pound or so they were humiliated by having their ponytail lifted up and mocked with “Look at the little piggy’s tail.”

If anyone complained to parents or said anything that got back to the coaches against the treatment they received they were either kicked out (which was horrible because it was their dream to be there.) or intimidated into denying everything. Of course the parents weren’t around to observe the mistreatment so they were left on their own to deal with the mental and physical intimidation.

She said she was left with permanent physical injuries an eating disorder, and only after years of therapy was she mentally able to put the past behind her. That was why she didn’t want her daughter involved in the sport and why, even though her daughter was ten, she was standing on the observation deck, watching. I listened to all this wide-eyed and taking it as a caution to observe coaching styles and any sign of mental abuse. I actually had forgotten all about this conversation until I started thinking about what to write for this blog and I came back to mind.

Of course what I’ve observed over the last five months is nothing so severe as what this Mom related to me, but the accumulation of things I’ve seen has left me very wary, exhausted, and very relieved to be moving on.

I'll post more later...

Waxing Nostalgic?

We're back from our wonderful time at the Lake. We drove back Monday morning from Big Bear in time to get Aimee to gymnastics at noon. (That's another story.) Since I didn't have my camera cable with me at the lake. here is a picture from the deck of the house. It was so relaxing! You can see Chuck and Aimee fishing off the dock down below the house.

Ssturday in our rented Big Bear Cabin we were making sandwiches to take for a picnic lunch on the fishing boat. I realized we didn’t have any plastic sandwich bags, so I looked in the cupboards to find some. There weren’t any, but there was some wax paper in the back of the cupboard. This brought back to my mind memories of the school lunches my mom used to pack for me before the invention of plastic sandwich bags. I wrapped the sandwiches and rolled the top of the wax paper just the way my mom used to do it. I realized that before the invention of “baggies” that was how school lunches were packed, at least in my family. It must have been some time when I was in elementary school that “baggies” came out. I’m calling them baggies because that’s what I remember calling them as a child.

Wow, this also brought back memories of smelly lschool lunch boxes, milk that we used to purchase from the school to drink with our lunches which always made me feel sick to my stomach. Then there was the time when I took a big gulp of sour milk! Maybe those school lunches weren’t such great memories after all. All that and more from a bit of wax paper.

From Big Bear Lake

I’m sitting here on the deck of a beautiful lakefront cabin that we’re renting in Big Bear for the weekend. I thought I’d have a picture or two of the awesome view of the lake from the deck, but I brought the wrong cable to connect the camera to the computer, so you’ll have to take my word for it. I’ll post some pictures when we get home. Right now I’m enjoying the incredible peace and quiet, clean air, pine tree smell and wireless networking right here on the dock outside the cabin. It’s almost too good to be true, pinch me, I must be dreaming. And, you may ask, where are the kids and how is it that they’re so quiet? Well they are off on a grand fishing adventure in the fishing boat Chuck rented. I opted to stay behind because 1. I hate boats; ever since the deep sea fishing trip when I was ten I’ve had to fight seasickness. 2. I’m way overdue for a few hours of alone time to do whatever I want.

I just came back from a leisurely 45 minute or so walk up the street to gaze on the beauties of nature and the way cool cabins on the lakefront. Then I came back, got connected to the wireless network and started blogging.

This is our first vacation in two years? Can it be? I think we just get so caught up in our kids’ activities, like gymnastics, that we forget to take time to sit back and smell the roses, or pine needles in this case. . I’d forgotten how nice Big Bear is. I can’t believe it but it’s actually been about eleven years since we were here last. Eric was three when we sold the vacation cabin we owned and we haven’t been back since. I guess we thought it’s just not the same when you don’t have your own cabin to come to, but this is fantastic!

We got here yesterday around four o’clock, settled in, did some fishing off the dock on the property and then went out to eat at Evergreen’s restaurant. Chuck and I ordered prime rib(the waitress came back to say that they’re out of it, we had to settle for rib-eye instead, too bad), Aimee the kid’s 7 oz. steak and Eric the swordfish special. We ate outside with a beautiful view of the sunset over the lake.

Okay here comes the fishing crew back from their adventure. I don’t see any fish in hand but the day is still young; Chuck rented it for 24 hours so they can go out at dusk and early in the morning. Tonight we’re barbequing steaks on the deck and then hopping in the hot tub. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it, right?

8th Grade Graduation

My son, Eric, graduated from eighth-grade on Friday. It was a pleasantly nice ceremony, (I was going to say, surprisingly nice but I was pleasantly surprised only because I didn’t know what to expect.) There were approximately 430 or so graduates from all over Southern California. An added bonus was that it took place less than five miles from my house at the new auditorium at College of the Canyons. The last two years of home school my children have been enrolled in California Virtual Academy, (CAVA), which is affiliated with K12.com.

I didn’t realize that there were so many eighth graders enrolled in the school. Since it’s a virtual school we never see all the students together and they are scattered all over the state. Each graduate was asked to provide a brief statement describing their “post-secondary” aspirations. This statement was read as they were presented on stage to receive their diploma. About half-way through the presentation, I found myself wishing that I had been jotting down all the college majors\career choices that were mentioned. It was an interesting lesson in what life choices appeal to the fourteen-year olds. I can’ document this since I didn’t catalog it but the top three choices appeared to be: 1. entertainment; 2. culinary arts 3. forensics. Could this be because of the popularity of cooking shows and CSI type shows?

The keynote speaker was Dr. Thomas Boysen who is the Senior Vice President of K12 inc. He gave an interesting talk on the subject of learning and read the following quote from T. H. White's, "The Once and Future King" which I found very interesting. So interesting that when I got home I googled it so I could have it.

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting."”

By T.H. White
The Once and Future King

Thus ended Eric’s illustrious homeschool career. He’s been homeschooled since 3rd grade. Next year he’ll be attending the local public high school I’m very confident that this is the right choice for our family. He needs other teachers. I’m confident in his ability to make right choices for friends and activities. Congratulation Eric!

Happy Flag Day!

National flag day Is June 14.

Promise

I promise, I'll blog more once school is out for the summer! I feel like I'm neglecting my blog, but I'm in sort of a funk, and I don't like to write much when I'm feeling this way. I know, I should make myself write and it'll help me get out of the funk. I'm just not sure how personal to get on a public forum like this. I really want to keep it positive because I am a positive person.

The big thing right now is what to do about Aimee's gymnastics. As you know, my daughter loves gymnastics.We switched gyms about four months ago. It's just so much time (six hours a day, five days a week, more in the summer) and so much driving (38 miles one way down one of LA's busiest freeways) and some red flags about the style at the gym, so we're praying about what to do and when to do it.

Eric is graduating from eighth grade on Friday! Congratulations to him! We've decided to send him to the local public high school for 9th grade so big changes are afoot. He is looking forward to it and also to summer vacation! (Update on bagpipe playing: We found a local person for lessons and he's been learning on the "practice chanter". We've promised him a bagpipe for Christmas or birthday.)

We're having a pool party here on Thursday for our home school co-op group. Eric and Aimee's Grandma is coming in on Thursday to be here for Eric's graduation We're really glad she can come. It should be a fun and busy week. And after Friday, school's out for the summer!

And I promise, more blogging!

About Books

I started re-reading Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose. (see the previous post) I read it years ago and enjoyed it. I also like the movie version with Sean Connery. It’s a kind of medieval murder mystery. The first chapter contains a description of the book which I especially appreciate:

For it is a tale of books, not of everyday worries, and reading it can lead us to recite, with ‘a Kempis, the great imitator: “In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.”

It fits right in with my current kick of reading books about books.
Umberto Eco is one of my favorite authors, and one of the things I like about his writing is how he inserts Latin, Greek, Hebrew you name it into his text with no translation. My high school Latin is a bit rusty but I knew the quote had something to do with books (cum libro), so I googled it and here is the translation:

Everywhere I have sought rest and found it not except sitting apart in a nook with a little book.

A particularly apropos statement since lately all I want to do is get home and curl up on the couch or in bed with a good book.

Take a Classic Literature Quiz; Which book are you?

I did and this is the result:


Umberto Eco: The Name of the Rose. You are a

mystery novel dealing with theology,

especially with catholic vs liberal issues.

You search wisdom and knowledge endlessly,

feeling that learning is essential in life.


Which literature classic are you?
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