organization issues

Coleridge is the supreme tragedy of indiscipline. Never did so great a mind
produce so little. He left Cambridge Uninversity to join the army; he left the
army because he could not rub down a horse; he returned to Oxford and left
without a degree. He began a paper called The Watchman which lived for
ten numbers and then died. It has been said of him: "he lost himself in visions
of work to be done, that always remained to be done. Colerige had every poetic
gift but one - the figt of sustained and concentrated effort." In his head and
in his mind he had all kinds of books, as he said, himself, "completed save for
transcription. I am on the even," he says "of sending to the press two octavo
volumes." But the books were vever composed outside Coldrige's mind, becuase he
wold not face the discipline of sitting down to write them out. No one ever
reached any eminence, and no one having reaced it ever maintained it, without
discipline.

From William Barclay, The Gospel of Matthew (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1975), p. 290 by way of Gordon MacDonald, Ordering Your Private World (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1984) p. 65.


I basically am in the midst of an organizational crisis. I was about to write that it started last week on Thanksgiving when I was sick in bed and had some time (albeit nauseated and feverish time) to reflect and pray about the current state of my life. Okay, it didn't actually start then; but the recognition of the crisis came then in the midst of feverish chills and stomach flu aches and pains. I realized that I needed to change some things to take back some kind of order in my life.

I was discourgaged about homeschool, about how well I'm doing with the important job of educating my kids, discouraged about my seeming inability to accomplish things, the state of disorder in my house, my relationships at home etc. In a word, I was discouraged. Of course being sick didn't help those feelings. But I realized that I needed to make some changes. I know it all starts with my attitude and then I can change some of the scheduling issues. Greater Expectations is a key phrase here. This is the name of a book we own about education. I think it's a book about public schools and the issue of lowering expectations to allow kids to feel good about themselves and how this is the cause of many of the problems with public education. (Is that a run-on sentence?)

It's not the book's contents so much but the title that speaks to me at this point in time. I need to expect more from myself and then I need to expect more from my kids. I had basically given up on the house. So anyway in those feverish hours I resolved to make some changes. The next morning I pulled out some of the books I own on organization to get inspired to make some changes and get some control over chaos. One of my favorite books on this subject is Gordon MacDonald's Ordering Your Private World, from which the quote at the top of the post comes. I don't want to end up like Coleridge, although at this point he has me beat in the production category because despite his time-management and organizational issues he is still one of the best known authors in history. But I have lots of ideas in my head and even more just waiting to break through if I had more discipline.

Another book I own called The Organized Home-Schooler by Vicki Caruna sent me the book of Proverbs to study diligence, prudence, order, haste, and confusion. After studying the Bible for awhile I realized what I most needed was the discipline to get out of bed early enough before the kids so I can spend time in the morning reading, praying, planning, and preparing for the day. This has been a thirty-year quest of mine, the early morning prayer time and I need it now more than ever.

I am resolved to make better use of my time, write more, read more, and yes, clean more and even better, make my children more responsible for helping with the cleaning and chores around the house. I will be like David the Psalmist when he faced opposition; I will encourage myself in the Lord and let His healing touch refresh and restore my great expectations for the future.