Guest Blogger

The guest blogger today is my son, Eric. This is a composition that he wrote for his English class. The assignment was to write about a personal incident where he had to make a decision. Since I've been wanting to write about some of our "Hollywood" experiences I thought I'd let him tell this one:

A Memorable Decision

When I was 12 years old I faced a difficult decision. I was sitting in a restaurant in Canyon Country, eating breakfast with my mom. We were planning a fun day at Universal Studios, when her cell phone rang. My heart sank. I knew immediately who it was. I waited impatiently for her to get off the phone; she was writing details on a piece of paper. “I have some bad news and some good news”, she said, “The bad news is we won’t be able to go to Universal Studios today. The good news is you have an audition for a national commercial and you get to skateboard for the audition.” “Mom”, I said, “call her back and tell her I can’t do it today.” I was really looking forward to going to Universal Studios. But turning down an audition wasn’t really a good idea, so I reluctantly decided to go.

When we went in for the audition there were so many kids it took hours to finally get in to see the casting people. The whole time I was waiting I was thinking that I could be having fun at Universal Studios. When I got inside the audition, I had to skateboard and drink Sunny D. Those were two things I enjoyed at the time and I was pretty good at both of them, if I do say so myself. They really liked me and I did really well in the audition. The next morning I got a phone call from my agent telling me I got the part. I was really happy and excited because I got to get paid to skateboard and drink Sunny D. I was so glad I had decided to go to the audition.

They were filming it at house in an LA neighborhood. Out in front of the house there was a huge catering truck that had food out the whole time I was there. They had donuts and sandwiches and every other kind of food you can imagine. I was in my proverbial heaven. I soon learned that I was doing the commercial with another kid. That made me happy because I had someone to hangout with we soon became friends. Before we shot the commercial we had to get our wardrobes they dressed us up kind of dorky but I didn’t care. It was worth it. After we got fitted and dressed we went right to work.

The first thing they wanted us to do was act like we were really bad at skateboarding. We had to fall and not land any tricks. One time I fell kind of hard on my face but I was ok. It was starting to get really hot and they made us fall for at least two hours. I was so relieved when the director finally said, “lunch time”. I took off my helmet and my hair was soaking wet. It was gross. I didn’t care. It was time to eat. I filled my plate with everything on the menu and I filled my stomach with everything on the plate. It was so good. The director gave us an hour for lunch.

When that hour was finally over we had to do the drinking the Sunny D scene. I was happy because we didn’t have to fall on our skateboards anymore. I soon found out that I didn’t have to do the drinking scene right away. I thought I was going to have a break while my new friend had to do his drinking scene. At least that’s what I thought until the studio teacher showed up and made me do school work I had almost finished all of my school work by the time he was done. It was back to work but now I actually got to land tricks. The theme of the commercial was that we were bad at skateboarding until we drank Sunny D and then we became good. It was supposed to give you energy.

Then it was my turn to do the drinking scene. I was happy because I didn’t have to be outside anymore. This scene would scar me for life. It would make me hate something I had loved. In this scene I had to reach in the refrigerator and grab a bottle of Sunny D and chug the whole bottle. Sounds like fun? Well it’s not that fun when you do 34 or more takes. I did literally 34 takes. In the middle of takes they would spray me with mist so I would look sweaty. I haven’t drunk Sunny D since that day.

The day was finally over and so was the shoot. I was relieved and sad. I would miss my friends I made there but I was also happy because I didn’t have to drink any more Sunny D. Even though I was “scarred for life” by drinking so much Sunny D, I was glad I made the right decision.

A Good Word

Here's a thought for today:

Anxiety in the heart of man weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

Proverbs 12:25

It's Talk Like a Pirate Day

Ahoy Mateys! To think I almost missed it. I just now came across this and I need to share it before it's too late. Today, September 19, is International Talk Like a Pirate day.

You can read all about it at the official Talk Like a Pirate Website.

A Good Report

Yesterday was a good day. Aimee competed in her first meet of the Level 5 compulsory season. She won 1st place on vault and floor and 2nd in the all-around.

She also qualified easily for the sectional competition in October.

All in all it was a good start for the new season.

Kathy Paxton, where are you?

Happy 50th Birthday, Kathy. Today is her birthday and I have no idea where she is. Kathy lived down the street from me growing up in a suburb of New Orleans. We were best friends until I moved to a different neighborhood when I was ten and a half. We stayed in touch after that but it wasn't the same as just walking down the street to her house. I haven't seen her in over thirty years.

If I think real hard I can put myself in her house, in her backyard, making whirlpools in her above-ground swimming pool. I remember her toy chest in her room, her older sister Donna, her mom, Miss Phyllis (we called all our friends parents Miss whatever, even though they were really Mrs.), her beautiful collie dog, Lady, her grandpa Pa-Pa. I can't remember her dad's name but I can picture him in my mind's eye. We took dance lessons together at Bayhi's School of Dance. With our other friend Kerry across the street we were the three Ks of the neighborhood.

Kathy, I miss you and I wish you a happy 50th Birthday!

An Update

Back to school is going full-speed ahead. Chuck went back to work after a month-long vaction in August. Eric started as a Freshman at West Ranch High School on August 17th and Aimee started back to homeschool in 3rd grade on Sept. 4, which means I went back to teaching on Sept. 4 also. The past week has been kind of a blur.

After several weeks of taking Eric to school every morning and picking him up every afternoon, I just have one question. What genius decided it was a great idea to put three public schools on the same block? The high school, junior high school and elementary school are within a block of each other, on the same street. This same street is up a hill with only one way in and out. What should be a five minute drive can take up to half-an-hour. And all these wonderful suburbanites, let's just say that it gets rather cutthroat out there on the mean streets of Valencia. Wow!

Aimee has her first gymnastics meet of the Fall season tomorrow. The meet starts at 8am. So much for sleeping in. She's been working really hard and now's the time to shine. I'm expecting to have a good report to share after the meet. Now I need to get a good night's sleep.

My Friends

I have friends whose society is extremely agreeable to me; they are of all ages, and of every country. They have distinguished themselves both in the cabinet and in the field, and obtained high honors for their knowledge of the sciences, It is easy to gain access to them, for they are always at my service, and I admit them to my company and dismiss them from it, whenever I please. They are never troublesome, but immediately answer every question I ask them. Some relate to me the events of past ages, while others reveal to me the secrets of nature. Some teach me how to live, and others how to die. Some, by their vivacity, drive away my cares and exhilarate my spirits while others give fortitude to my mind, and teach me the important lesson how to restrain my desires... They open to me in short, the various avenues of all the arts and sciences, and upon their information I may safely rely in all emergencies. In return for all their services, they only ask me to accommodate them with a convenient chamber in some corner of my humble habitation, where they may repose in peace; for these friends are more delighted by the tranquillity of retirement that with the tumults of society.

Petrarch

My Native Tongue

In honor of the 1st anniversary of Hurrican Katrina, here is a lexicon of my native tongue:

Excerpted from Tim Lyman's introduction to Bunny Matthews' book of comic strips featuring New Orleans dialogue, "F'Sure!: Actual Dialogue Heard on the Streets of New Orleans."

or How ta tawk rite

ALGERIAN - Someone from Algiers (the only part of the City of New Orleans to lie on the West Bank). Some locals say "Algereens", but we always said Algerians. It's funnier.

ALLIGATOR PEAR - Avocado.

ANYWAYS - And, then; and, so.

ARABIAN - Someone from Arabi, in St. Bernard Parish. See "Algerian".

AWRITE - The appropriate response to the greeting "Where y'at?" Also, a greeting in and of itself: "Awrite, Ed!"

AWRITE, HAWT - A female response of agreement.

AX - Ask.

BANQUETTE - The sidewalk. Pronounced . Usage fairly rare nowadays.

BAT'TROOM - A room in the house where one doesn't find bats, but where one bathes, attends to the elimination of bodily waste, or locks oneself in and cries until one gets one's way.

BERL - To cook by surrounding something in hot, bubbling 212°F liquid; the preferred method for cooking shellfish.

BINHAVIN, BEEN HAVIN' - To have had something for a long time, as in ... Q: "How long ya had dat dress? A: "Oh, I binhavin dat."

BINLOOKIN, BEEN LOOKIN' - To have searched for something for a long time, as in "I binlookin f'dat book."

BOBO - A small injury or wound.

BOO - A term of endearment, frequently used by parents and grandparents for small children, even small children who happen to be 40 years old ... Believed to be Cajun in origin.

BRA - A form of address for men, usually one with whom you are not acquainted. Usually used in this manner: "Say, bra ..." The preferred term of address of SWEATS.

BRAKE TAG - An inspection sticker on your car, proof that you've passed the required annual safety inspection. It encompasses several areas of your car (e.g., horn, wipers, etc.) but is primarily concerned with the integrity of your brakes. Given the fact that New Orleans is surrounded by various lakes, rivers and canals, a bad set of brakes could mean that you might end up at the bottom of one of those bodies of water at the very least. Throughout New Orleans (although I'm not sure about other parts of Louisiana), the inspection sticker is called a "brake tag". If it's expired and you get pulled over, you're guaranteed to get a ticket. (Believe me, I know.)

BY MY HOUSE, BY YOUR HOUSE, etc. - Analogous to the French terms "chez moi", "chez toi", etc. Usage: "He slept by my house last night." "At" is never used in this sense.

CAP - A form of address for men, usually ones with whom you are not acquainted. Women generally do not use this term. See also PODNA and BRA.

CATLICK - The predominant religion in New Orleans. And, according to some Baptists, all Hell-bound.

CEMENT - A standard English word, but with a special pronunciation. Locals say , not .

CHALMETIAN, CHALMATION - Someone from Chalmette, a city in St. Bernard Parish that's part of the New Orleans "metro area". Occasionally used as an insult. (Many New Orleanians have a low opinion of Chalmette.) Out-of-towners often pronounce it with the hard "ch" sound as in "charge". It's more like or , and the city is pronounced .

CHARMER - The quintessential female Yat. Pronounced .

CHIEF, CHEEF - A form of address between men, along the lines of "cap" and "podna".

COARDNER - Corner. As in, "I'm going down to the coardner to get me a shrimp po-boy." This is a contribution from native New Orleanian Powtawche N. Williams, who says, "My family in the 7th Ward uses it all the time." (I've never heard it, me ... but my family's from da 9th Ward, so who knows?)

CUSH-CUSH, KUSH-KUSH, COUCHE-COUCHE - An old French/Cajun breakfast dish my grandmother used to prepare. The words rhyme with "push", and it is prepared by browning or searing cornmeal in an oil glazed pot till light brown, then served hot with sugar and milk in a bowl, just like cereal. (Contributed by Ave from Chalmette)

DA - The.

DAT - That.

DAWLIN' - A universal form of address. Women use it to refer to both sexes, men use it toward women.

DEM - Them.

DERE - There. As in "Dere ya go!", an expression of encouragement or acknowledgement of having done something for someone else.

DESE, DOSE - These, those.

DIS - This.

DODO, MAKE DODO - Sleep. From the Cajun French "fais do do", or "make sleep". In Acadiana, the term "fais do do" is used for a Cajun dance, and is thought to have originated when the parents would tell their kids to hurry up and "fais do do" so that they could go to the dance; alternately, it's said that the hosts of the house dances (bals de maison) would have a separate room for parents to put their small children, and the lady watching them would keep singing lullabyes and saying "fais do do" so that they could sleep amidst the din of the dancing Cajuns.

DOUBLOON - A coin, approximately the size of a silver dollar, minted on a yearly basis by the various Mardi Gras krewes. The standard type is made of aluminum and they're thrown from Mardi Gras floats by the parade riders. The distinctive sound of a doubloon hitting da cement is enough to start a mad scramble, where you're likely to trample on an old lady, or alternately be trampled by an old lady.
Doubloons usually come in a variety of colors, and collectors try not only to collect all available colors, but also the exclusive krewe members-only versions made of brushed aluminum, brass or even silver. Doubloons have traditionally been collected with great fervor and rabidity, but from what I can tell their popularity has fallen off over the years. Pronounced , and the cries of "Da-BLOOOOON!!! Da-BLOOOOOOON!!!" can often be heard along parade routes.
Unfortunately, the passion for catching doubloons and for doubloon collecting seems to have waned in recent years. Seems people want cups, or those stupid long strings of beads, rather than a nice, collectible doubloon. I think it's a shame.

DOWN DA ROAD - A staple in the vocabulary of the St. Bernard Parish Yat, along with up da road. This term is travel directions for someone headed to lower St. Bernard Parish traveling on St. Bernard Highway (US Highway 46). You are usually in da parish when you use this phrase with a destination of either Violet or Poydras. For example: "Let's go down da road and pass over by the trailah pawk."
DRESSED - When ordering a po-boy, "dressed" indicates lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and MYNEZ, on it. See NUTTINONIT.

EARL, ERL -
1. A vegetable product used for cooking, making roux, etc.
2. A petroleum product used to lubricate the engine of your car.
3. Your Uncle Earl. (Most New Orleanians have an Uncle Earl; I do.)

ELLESHYEW - Louisiana State University, Baton Rouge. Occasionally preceded by the term, "Go ta hell ..."

ERNGE, URNGE - An orange-colored citrus fruit.

ERSTERS, ERSTAS - Oysters.

ESPLANADE - Walkway. The street name is pronounced es'-pl-NADE, and the last syllable rhymes with "raid", not "rod".

FAUBOURG - A suburb or outlying neighborhood, as in Faubourg Marigny. Usually pronounced by natives.

FLYIN' HORSES - Accented on the first syllable. A merry-go-round, sometimes specifically describing the merry-go-round in City Park, but also used in general. I've never heard this term used outside of New Orleans to describe a merry-go-round or carousel.

FOR - a preposition used by New Orleanians instead of "at" or "by" when referring to time. E.g., "Da parade's for 7:00, but we betta get dere for 6 if we wanna find pawkin'." This one tends to be particularly confusing to non-natives.

F'SURE! -
1. A statement of agreement. See YEAH YOU RITE.
2. An excellent (but out of print) book by local artist Bunny Matthews, featuring cartoons with "actual dialogue heard on the streets of our metropolis".

F'TRUE - Pronounced . When phrased as a question, it means "Is that so?" or "Ya kiddin'!!". When phrased as a statement, it's an affirmation, a shortened version of "Nuh uh, I ain't lyin' ta ya ..."

GAWD - A supernatural deity, worshipped by most New Orleanians.

GO CUP - A paper or plastic cup for consumption of alcoholic beverages out on the street, as open glass containers (and cans too, I think) are illegal. As a Bunny Matthews bartender character once said, "Here, cap -- I gotta give ya dis beer in a cup, 'cos da City Council passed dis law sayin' I can go ta Angola fa serving ya a beer in a beer can ..."
Many non-New Orleanians are astonished that we can drink out on the street in go cups. When I left New Orleans, I was astonished that you can't do it anywhere else (which nearly got me arrested in Los Angeles ... uncivilized savages.)

GOUT - Pronounced . French for "taste." Usually applied to coffee. As in, "You want a little gout?" Mostly old people are the only ones still saying this.

GRIP - A small suitcase, usually not a hard-shell one, more like a schoolbag or an overnight bag. Other locals have used this to refer to all types of suitcases. "Don't fo'get ya grip!", says ya mamma, as you're leaving the house.

GRIPPE - The flu.

GRIS-GRIS - Pronounced . Noun, A (voodoo) spell. Can be applied for nefarious purposes ("to put a gris-gris on someone"), or as a force to ward off evil, like wearing a gris-gris bag (the folks at the Voodoo Shop on Dumaine will make one to order for about $20).

HAWT - A term of endearment used primarily by local females.

HEY, BAY-BEE! - Pronounced with the "BAY" drawn way out. A greeting between any two people of either gender.

HICKEY - A knot or bump you get on your head when you bump or injure your head. Everywhere else in the world a hickey is what you get on your neck after necking. Not in New Orleans. See PASSION MARK.

HOUSE COAT 'N CURLAS - The preferred dress for charmers while shopping at Schwegmann's.

HUCK-A-BUCKS or HUCKLE-BUCKS - Frozen Kool-Aid in a Dixie cup. A way to keep cool during the summer. I had never neard this term growing up, but contributor Milton Cloutier from the 7th Ward says they used this term in his neighborhood, and another 7th Warder, Darrel Schexnayder, adds even more:
The term was very common for me growing up in the 7th Ward. Neighbors would sell the frozen treats for a nickel, along time ago. Sometimes we'd make them ourselves. They were as popular as "snow-balls" are/were to the rest of New Orleans.
There is even proper etiquette for eating huckle-bucks (as I used to call them). The first thing you have to do after paying your nickel/quarter or whatever the cost:
1. Warm the sides until the frost is mostly gone 2. To loosen the frozen berg from its Dixie cup confines by pushing up on the bottom of the cup. 3. Carefully flip it over so that tapered-down bottom is up and out. There are three major advantages to this technique -- (1) that's where to best flavor resides; (2) easy access to the body of the flavored ice and (3) some folks would wrap a coin in Saran Wrap and place it at the bottom.
Musta been a 7th Ward thing. :-)

I'LL TAKE ME A ... - May I have a ...

INKPEN - A ball-point pen, or any kind of pen, really. Always heavy emphasis on the first syllable ... "Lemme borra ya INKpen, awrite?"

INSURANCE - Pronounced .

JAMBALAYA - A rice-based dish containing meat and seafood, prepared in a nearly infinite variety of ways by Louisianians. The usual out-of-towner mispronunciation has the first syllable rhyming with "jam", when it should rhyme with "Tom" ... jom'-b@-LIE-@, secondary accent on first syllable, primary accent on third. But one local pronunciation that was brought to my attention (although nobody in my family said it this way) is JUM-b@-lie'-@, primary accent of first syllable which rhymes with "bum", secondary accent on third syllable.

JAWN - The most popular boys' name in English, pronounced this way among Localese-speakers. Also, a pot ta pee in. Rhymes with "lawn". See TURLET.

K&B, KB, KB's - A local drug store for decades, beloved by locals, whose trademark color was a deep, violent purple. Everything in KB was purple, from the price tags to the ink pens (and their ink) to the managers' and cashiers' vests. In the old days, K&B used to have lunch counters and soda fountains, but these were all gone by the time I was in high school in the mid- to late 70s. Also in the old days, there were radio and TV jingles for K&B, the lyrics of which were, "Look on every corner and what do you see? A big purple sign that says 'Your Friendly K&B!'" In schoolyards, the lyrics were often changed to have the big purple sign say something uncomplimentary and/or obscene. "K&B" stands for "Katz and Besthoff".
Alas, K&B is no more, having been bought out by some vile Northern chain who changed the chain's name to "Rite Aid" and got rid of the purple. I will never shop there again under any circumstances for as long as I live. It's Walgreen's or Eckerd for me from now on.
"Streetcar" Mike Strauch has put up a K&B memorial page, with the background a brilliant, beautiful K&B purple (see below).

K&B PURPLE - A particular shade of purple that you'll know if you know K&B. Used in phrases like, "He was so mad, his face was K&B purple", or, "I can't believe ya bought dat ugly car! It's K&B purple!"

LAGNIAPPE - Pronounced . A little something extra. Lagniappe is when your butcher gives you a pound and two ounces of hot sausage but only charges you for a pound, or when the waiter at your favorite restaurant brings you an extra dessert or something, and doesn't charge you. Lagniappe breeds good will, friendship and most importantly, return business. Also, "Lagniappe" is the name of the entertainment pull-out section of the Friday edition of The New Orleans Times-Picayune.

LOCKA - Where you hang your clothes, analogous to the English word "closet". Example: "Mom-MAH! Where my shoes at?" "Looka in ya locka!" (See LOOKA) Occasionally spelled "locker", as if it was proper English. Generally always used in place of the word "closet", but I must confess I have yet to hear this term used in the context of a gay or lesbian person "comin' outta da locka ..." :^)

LOOKA - The imperative case of the verb "to look". Usually accompanied by a pointing gesture. Often used as a single exclamation: "Looka!"

LOOKIT DA T.V. - To watch T.V. Locals don't watch T.V., they look at it. Oh, and in proper Localese form, it's pronounced , emphasis on the first syllable.

MAKE GROCERIES, MAKIN' GROCERIES - To do grocery shopping. Thought to have originated with the French expression for grocery shopping, "faire le marché". The verb "faire" can mean either "to do" or "to make", and the idiom may have been mistranslated.

MARDI GRAS - This grand pre-Lenten celebration for which New Orleans is famous is pronounced .

MARRAINE - Pronounced . Your godmother. Elsewhere the terms "nanny" and "nanan" (pronounced NAH-nan) are also used for godmother.

MAW-MAW - Ya grandma.

MIRLITON - A vegetable pear or chayote squash, which grows wild in Louisiana and in backyards throughout New Orleans. Pronounced , and wonderful when stuffed with shrimp and ham dressing ... have a look at the recipe.

MUFFULETTA - A quintessential New Orleans Italian sancwich, of ham, Genoa salami, mortadella, Provolone cheese and marinated olive salad on a round seeded Italian loaf. Invented at Central Grocery on Decatur in da Quarter. Locals pronounce this , and will tend to just abbreviate it as "muff". But if you ask a member of the Tusa family (the proprietors of Central), they'll pronounce it in elegantly proper Italian as .

MYNEZ - Mayonnaise.

NEUTRAL GROUND - The grassy or cement strip in the middle of the road. The terms "median" and/or "island" are NEVER used in New Orleans. Use of one of those foreign terms instead of "neutral ground" is a dead giveaway that you ain't from around here, or anywhere close. If you're lucky, you live on a street with a neutral ground big enough to play football on.

NEW ORLEENS - The way silly tourists pronounce "New Orleans". Natives do not do this. Exception -- song lyrics, as in "Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans", for example, and when omitting the "New", as in "Orleans Parish", which is always pronounced . Confusing, isn't it? More on this below.

NUTTINONIT - A po-boy that is not dressed, which only contains the main ingredient(s).

ON DA WES' BANK, ACROSS DA RIVUH, OVA DA RIVUH - On the West Bank of the Mississippi River, where such places as Algiers, Gretna and Marrero lie. Interestingly, the West Bank is due south of New Orleans (except for Algiers, of course). Make sense? Thought not.

OR WHAT - Pronounced , and placed at the end of a question: "You gonna finish eatin' dat, 'r what?"

OVA BY - A general replacement for the prepositions "at" and "to", particularly when referring to someone's home, or a destination in general. "Where ya goin'?" "Ova by ma mamma's."

PARISH - A Louisiana state administrative district, analogous to the American "county". When used by locals in the phrase "da parish", it generally means St. Bernard Parish specifically, which is suburban to New Orleans.

PARRAINE - Pronounced . Your godfather.

PASS BY - To stop at a place, for a visit or to accomplish something. "Ya gonna be home later? I'll pass by ya house." It doesn't mean just to drive by in your car and keep going ...

PASSION MARK - The little red mark you get on your neck (or elsewhere) after a passionate session of necking. Called a "hickey" or a "love bite" everywhere else, apparently. Pronounced PASH'n mawk, of course.

PECAN - A nut indigenous to the South, and beloved in New Orleans as an ingredient in pies and pralines. Pronounced , not .

PO-BOY - The quintessential New Orleans lunch, a sandwich on good, crispy New Orleans French bread. This definition doesn't begin to describe what a po-boy is all about, so if you really don't know you need to get one soon. Take a moment to read a little bit about po-boys.

PODNA - A form of address for men, usually for ones with whom one is not acquainted. Frequently used in the emphatic statement, "I tell you what, podna ..."

PRALINE - A sugary Creole candy, invented in New Orleans (not the same as the French culinary/confectionery term "praline" or "praliné") The classic version is made with sugar, brown sugar, butter, vanilla and pecans, and is a flat sugary pecan-filled disk. Yummmmm. There are also creamy pralines, chocolate pralines, maple pralines, etc. Pecan pralines are the classic, though.

REGULAH COFFEE - Not "Black Coffee" as in the rest of the country. "Regular" includes lots of sugar and cream. To drink black coffee in New Orleans will cause people to look at you as though you are from another planet. As a Café du Monde waiter was quoted in a Bunny Matthews "F'Sure!" comic strip, admonishing a tourist who had ordered black coffee, "Lissen cap ... I gotta tell ya, nobody drinks dis kinda cawfee black. So I ain't responsible if ya have a hawt attack 'r sump'in ..."

SCHWEGMANN'S BAG - A unit of measurement. Approximately 3 cubic feet. Derived from local icon Schwegmann Brothers Giant Supermarkets, who until recently had absolutely enormous paper bags in which they packed ya groceries. (Now they have those stupid tiny flimsy plastic bags just like everyone else.) Usage: "Hey, did ya catch a lot at da parade?" "Yeah you rite ... a whole Schwegmann bag full!" The apostrophe-s is optional.

SHOOT-DA-CHUTE - A playground slide.

SHOW, DA SHOW - The cinema. The movie house. The local motion picture emporium. Where works of cinematic art (or crappy flicks, depending) are shown. True New Orleanians never say, "I went to the movies", they say "I went to da show."

SILVER DIME - A small coin of U.S. currency, worth ten cents. Always pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable, , even though they haven't been made of actual silver for over 35 years.

SKEETA HAWK - Or, "mosquito hawk", the local name for a dragonfly. I'm not sure if this is particular to New Orleans only, but since moving away I have never heard anyone else use the term.

SOSSIDGE - A meat preparation, made of various kinds of ground meats, seafood and spices, stuffed into a casing. Usually spelled "sausage" by English speakers, but pronounced in New Orleans as you see here, always and not .

STOOP - Usually expressed as "da stoop". The front steps to your house, particularly if it's a shotgun duplex. What ya go out and sit on to chat wit'ya neighbas (an' ta keep an eye on 'em). An example, (partially taken from a Bunny Matthews' "F'Sure!") strip:
"Turn on da A.C., Victa."
"Nuh uh, it ain't hot enough, it's still May. Let's go out and sit on da stoop."

SUCK DA HEAD, SQUEEZE DA TIP - The technique for eating crawfish. If you've never done this, have someone demonstrate.

SUG - A term of endearment used primarily by Yat females. Pronoucned with a soft "oo" as in "book".

SWEATS - A sub-species of New Orleanian; early teens to late 40s, even, with unkempt appearance, dirty hair, heavy metal or biker t-shirts, droopy-eyed, low-intelligence, usually stoned, occasionally hostile. Preferred term of address, "Say, bra ..." Other terms for sweats, depending on your generation and neighborhood, are "loads" or "say-bras". In my day they were known to be fond of Cheech 'n Chong (which they pronounce CHEEK an' Chong) movies at the Chalmette, Lake Forest Plaza and Village Aurora Cinemas. Prone to ask brilliant questions like, "Say bra ... what time da midnight movie starts?" (This question was once actually asked of me, back when it was my lot in life to have been an usher at the Village Aurora Cinema in Algiers. You can't make stuff like this up. And a new one was contributed by Gumbo Pages reader Larry Beron: "A friend of mine went to the Rally's at Vets and Bonnabel in Metairie and overheard the driver of the car ahead of him ask the drive-up clerk, 'Say bra ... how many meats y'all put on them double-cheeseburgers?'")

"THROW ME SOMETHIN, MISTA!" - The traditional (nay, required) request of a Mardi Gras paradegoer to a Mardi Gras parade rider, so that the rider will shower said paradegoer with cheap trinkets like beads, doubloons or cups (actually, the cups are highly coveted, more so than the doubloons are these days, apparently).

TURLET - Ya standard flushable porcelain waste disposal unit found in every bat'troom, referred to by English speakers as a "toilet". Also good for gettin' rid of nasty food ya snuck away from da table as a child (like ma mamma's roast beef ... yuck. That lady makes heavenly crawfish étouffée, but she just murders roast beef ...)

UPTOWN SIDE, DOWNTOWN SIDE, LAKESIDE, RIVERSIDE - The four cardinal points of the New Orleanian compass. "North, south, east, west" do not work in New Orleans.

VALISE - Suitcase.

VEDGEATIBBLE - Neither animal nor mineral. What ya mamma used to make ya eat before ya could leave the table when ya were a kid. The word has four syllables.

VIOLATION - A person from Violet, Louisiana, in St. Bernard Parish. I've never heard this one before, but it's hilarious. Contributed by Karen Schneider of the Southern Yat Club.

WHERE YA STAY (AT)? - Where do you live?

WHERE Y'AT! - The traditional New Orleanian greeting, and the source for the term "Yat", often used (primarily by non-New Orleanians, it is said) to describe New Orleanians with the telltale accent. The proper response is, "Awrite."

UMBRELLA - A standard English word, but with a special pronunciation. We say , not .

UP DA ROAD - Same as down da road, only now you are traveling in the opposite direction heading "up da road" to either Chalmette or Arabi.

WRENCH - To clean something under running water. "Aw baby, ya hands 'r filthy! Go wrench 'em off in da zink." See ZINK.

Y'ALL - The plural form of the second person verb, "you all". It's not pronounced as they would in the south, though -- no twang, no drawl, just "y'all". "You guys" is never said and is a dead giveaway that you're a Tulane student from New Jersey.

YA - You, your.

YA MAMMA - Your mother. Used in a variety of ways, usually endearing. Also usable as an insult, specifically as a simple retort when one is insulted first; simply say, "Ya mamma." Be prepared to defend yourself physically at this point. I once saw my classmate Vince G. beat the crap out of someone (and someone a year older, at that) back in high school at Holy Cross for uttering this retort.

YAMAMMA'N'EM - A collective term for your immediate family, as in "Hey dawlin', how's yamamma'n'em?" Spoken as one word.

YEAH YOU RITE - An emphatic statement of agreement and affirmation, sometimes used as a general exclamation of happiness. The accent is on the first word, and it's spoken as one word.

YEUHRM? - Do/Did you hear me? (Heard often at Schwegmann's.)

ZATARAIN'S - Pronounced . A local manufacturer of spices, seasonings, pickled products and condiments. In context, it's used by some as a generic term for either crab boil or Creole mustard, as it "Put some Zatarain's on it," or "T'row a coupla bags o' Zatarain's in da pot." Context is important here; you don't want to put Creole mustard in a seafood boil.

ZINK - A receptacle for water with a drain and faucets. Where ya wrench off ya dishes or ya hands. See WRENCH.